Strays

When this movie was released in US theaters about two weeks ago, I was ecstatic. Not because I was excited to see it: my review would have come much sooner if I had. No, it’s because all summer, the red-band trailer would run before nearly every movie I saw at my local Regal. After a month or so of being treated to bouncy music over dogs humping garden gnomes, there was a brief respite in May and June, reflecting its release being pushed from its original June date to mid-August. Which ultimately meant I had to watch that thing even more. Ugh.

So no, I wasn’t stoked for this film. As I’ve said with regards to some other recent movies, I try to keep an open mind, to allow myself to be surprised. That happened earlier this summer with No Hard Feelings, so why not Strays?

Reggie (Will Ferrell) is a naive, constantly peppy puppy who’s completely oblivious to how much his owner Doug (Will Forte) sucks. Doug neglects him, yells at him, lets him out only infrequently for bathroom breaks, and generally treats him like garbage in just about every way shy of physical abuse. In an attempt to finally get rid of his ex-girlfriend’s dog (whom he only ended up with out of spite), he eventually drives Reggie to the city and leaves him on the street. Reggie is quickly shown the ropes by a stray named Bug (Jamie Foxx), and introduced to his domesticated friends Maggie (Isla Fisher) and Hunter (Randall Park).

Together, they help Reggie realize just how much he’s been mistreated: for one, they help him remember his name isn’t “shit stain” or “fuck face”. And with that, Reggie resolves to return to Doug in order to get revenge by taking away the only thing he cares about: “I’m gonna bite his dick off”.

Thus, the adventure begins!

…and proceeds exactly as you’d expect.

• Our protagonist’s new friend trying to convince him this new way of life is the best, and introducing him to its “wonders”? Check.
• “Inspiring” speeches about friendship and self-worth? Check.
• Two people…err, dogs who refuse to admit, to themselves or anyone else, that they like each other? Check.
• A misunderstanding with the “cops” leading to our bold travelers landing in jail? Check.

And on and on and on.

Most of what this movie leans on is “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if dogs could talk, and they just cursed and made sex and poop jokes?” Without some sort of variation, that style of joke can’t sustain a 5-minute internet short, never mind a theatrical feature film. Sure enough, just as the plot, there’s little creativity in the jokes, often having the punchline “It’s funny because they’re dogs, you see!” They beat this all into the ground. One of Reggie’s key characteristics is his naivete, which we’re shown by how literally he takes everything. For example, when Bug introduces him to the joys of humping garden gnomes and tells him to say “I’m your Daddy”, Reggie takes this to mean the inanimate object is literally his son. Somehow. For some reason. Sure, Reggie is oblivious, but when you have to go that far to stupid for a joke, it should serve as a warning sign that maybe you’re on the wrong track. It should not signal you to repeat that style of joke, throughout the film, endlessly. But here we are.

I do have to admit that some of the jokes landed. When you’re shotgunning every single thought you had at the screen, it would almost have been more surprising if nothing worked. But still, it’s something.

The movie tries to elevate itself somewhat by establishing some thematic elements. However, its need to spell out everything for the audience ends up making it feel like we’re way ahead of the movie, which comes across as the movie not respecting its audience. And sure, I guess that’s on me, wanting the raunchy talking dog movie to show some restraint. Fair enough. But it doesn’t make it any more bearable when they point blank say that Reggie was trapped in a toxic relationship. I will give them credit for following through on it more than I expected, though, going so far as to show Reggie starting to miss Doug and preparing to forgive him, thus demonstrating part of what makes escaping even the most damaging relationships so difficult. Of course, that directly leads to another rote plot beat, so we don’t have a lot of time to appreciate it, but at least they tried. I won’t, however, give them any credit for Bug’s backstory, of which every aspect is painfully obvious from the time we meet him.

All of that being said, there is one genuinely good scene in the movie: the mushroom trip. We cut through a few animation styles, see some psychedelic motion blur and star fields, Bug talks to his couch “girlfriend” voiced by Sofia Vergara, and it ends in the euphoric destruction of a ton of plush bunnies, all set to “Flat Beat” by Mr. Oizo. It’s delightfully strange, and while the concept of our bold adventurers accidentally getting high as a kite is far from unique, it manages to feel fresh and exciting here. As it plays out, you can see exactly where it’s leading, but it works nonetheless.

The one other thing worth mentioning: apparently, almost no CGI was used for the dogs (save for their mouths, of course). Director Josh Greenbaum estimated ninety-five percent of the dog shots are real. Which means the training of these animals was absolutely bananas impressive. They’re doing all sorts of stunts, interacting with other dogs and humans and crowds and knocking down doors and more. So humongous props to the trainers.

But that’s it. One scene, a couple minor jokes, and appreciation for the dog training is all the joy I could muster from this 93 minute journey. Even if you consider the later parts of the movie which I’m omitting to avoid spoilers, nothing interesting happens. It’s all just dumb, lowest common denominator comedy, lazy writing, weak characters, and uninteresting staging. None of it is worth your time.